Just in case y'all missed the encyclopedic post below, I turned 40 over the weekend. I've heard them say that life begins at 40, which makes me wonder if the last 4 decades were a dress rehearsal for the real thing. If that's true, this is one show that will close out of town.
I don't know what the big deal is. I don't feel any older, no matter what my kids say. Sure there are a few more aches and pains in the morning, and certain body parts don't look or function the way they used to, but who cares?
I can always get stronger glasses.
To me, 40 is a reminder that eventually, I'm going to have to settle down and decide what I want to be when I grow up. Astronaut sounds good, but I don't know if I want to trust my life to a vehicle that complex built to government specs by the lowest bidder. Besides, I something that expresses my creative side. I think I'd like to make something; making money sounds nice.
I guess now I have to clear a little time in my schedule for my midlife crisis. Isn't that supposed to come around about now? I need to recapture echoes of my misspent youth, which of course would involve long hours of isolation in the library.
On second thought, I think I'll go for the other version of male menopause, and spend ridiculous amounts of money on frivolous luxeries. I'm trying to decide between the sports car, the trophy wife, or the motorcycle. (AKA the Hemi, the Hussy, or the Harley.)
Decisions, decisions.
Of course, there are some good things about turning 40. If my memory wasn't so spotty, I'm sure I could point them out for you.
Monday, June 16, 2003
Musings on middle age
Saturday, June 14, 2003
A history lesson
It was the middle of 1963. Kennedy was still alive, although not for long; the Soviets had put a woman in space, and the smiley was invented; Martin Luther King had a dream, and ATT introduced touch tone dialing. Brad Pitt, JAmes Hetfield, Helen Hunt, Quentin Tarantino, Charles Barkley, And Mike Myers were all born that year. And in Memphis TN, on June 14th, so was I.
The labor was difficult, so difficult that my mom was told she couldn't have anymore kids except through c-section. I came out of the deal with a head shaped like a bananna. Fortunately, baby's heads are very pliable, and the nurses spent hours reshaping my head to something approaching normalcy.
The first few years of my life passed in a blur, as I tried to figure out what all these new things around me were. In 1964, while I was gumming rice cereal, Ford introduced the Mustang; the Beatles performed on Ed Sullivan; IBM introduced the System 360 computer family, boasting a whopping 48k of memory. The computer language BASIC was introduced, And Leonid Brezhnev replaced Nikita Krushchev as leader of the Soviet Union. 1965 brought turmoil as Malcolm X was assassinated by a group of his followers, American combat forces entered Viet Nam, race riots broke out all over the nation, and the Russians made the first space walk. Coincidentally, I took my first steps that year as well.
The changes kept coming in 1966. Star Trek premiered; Charles Whitman climbed a tower in Texas, and killed random people, NOW was founded, and Catholics were allowed to eat meat on Friday.
In 1967, Israel defeated a coalition of Arab countries in only 6 days. The first Super Bowl was played, won by the Packers, Thurgood Marshall was appointed to the Supreme Court. The first heart transplant took place. Apollo 1 caught fire on the pad, killing all on board. The first ATM was installed, and Elvis Presley got married.
In 1968, the world accelerated. Martin Luther King and Robert F kennedy were both assassinated, Laugh In ushered in lightning fast comedy. George Foreman won gold in the Olympics. In Viet Nam, the Tet offensive was launched. It was a military failure, but a political succews, breaking America's will to fight. The first 9-1-1 system was installed.
In 1969, Mary Jo Kopechne drowned in Chappaquidick while Ted Kennedy swam to safety. ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet was born, and in a coincidence presaging it's impact on publishing, the Saturday Evening Post published it's last issue. Charles Manson and his "Family" slaughtered several people in California. As I was taking my first steps into a larger world, going to first grade, mankind was taking its first steps into an even larger world, as Neil Armstrong walked on the moon.
In 1970, four students were killed at Kent State in Ohio during a war protest. Monday Night Football was broadcast for the first time. Apollo 13's mission to the moon faced disaster, but resulted in the triumphant return of all astronauts.
The first NYC Marathon was run, and the Hailey family ran its own marathon, moving from FLA to TN. I got to ride in the U-Haul with my dad. The trip was great except I kept slamming my thumb in the door of the truck.
In 1971, Billie Jean King became the first female athlete to earn more than 1 million dollars. Disney World in FLA opened. The Nasdaq opened. The Supreme court ruled that bussing to enforce desegregation was legal. The violence continued as the Weather Underground planeted a bomb in the men's room in the Capitol. Intel introduced the first microprocessor, the 4004 beginning the long evolution of the PC.
In 1972, HP introduced the first hand held calculator, costing a mere $395. It added, subtracted, nultiplied and divided. republican operatives broke into the Democratic headquarters in the Watergate Hotel. The Dow broke 1000. The Munich Massacre took place in the Olympic Village.
Watergate
In 1973, I turned 10, and thought Schoolhouse Rock was the coolest thing ever. Roe V Wade made abortions legal, but with many restrictions, most of which would be stricken later. Secretariat won the Triple Crown. America launched SkyLab, the first space station. Israel fought off another Arab invasion during the Yom Kippur War.
Steinbrenner buys the Yankees
In 1974, Patty hearst was kidnapped by the SLA. NIxon was impeached and resigned, making Gerald Ford President. People magazine published its first issue.
In 1975, the first PC was introduced, the Altair 8800. It had no display, no keyboard, and was programmed by manipulating switches in sequence. It sold in kit form, meaning you had to actually put it together. It sold faster than the inventors could manufacture the kits. The US and Soviet space programs linked up with an Apollo-Soyuz rendezvous in space. Saturday Night Live debuted with the Not ready for Prime Time Players. Several went on to become famous. Some died.
In 1976, America celebrated 200 years. I entered my teenage years. Steve Jobs and Steve Wosniak invented the Apple Computer, which changed personal computing forever. At the same time, Bill Gates was founding Microsoft, beginning a rivalry that continues today. The first super sonic passenger plane, the Concorde, began to fly. Israel rescued hostages held by terrorists at an airport in Entebbe. The prototype Space Shuttle was named Enterprise, in honor of Star trek, following a furious write in campaign from Trekkers and dreamers everywhere. The phrase, "200 years ago today..." entered pop culture, as the "Bicentennial Minute" played nightly during prime time on CBS. We saw pictures from the Martian surface, showing a blue sky. They were later corrected. Jimmy Carter replaced Gerald Ford as President
In 1977, the world was introduced to Luke Skywalker and compnay through the movie Star Wars. I rode my bike about 5 miles to get to a theater to watch the movie. Disco dominated pop radio, while metal surged just beneath.
In 1978, Roman Polanski fled the country after pleading guilty to sex with a 13 year old girl. Karl wallenda dies on camera attempting to walk a tightrope between two buildings. The evening news plays the footage over and over. The first test tube baby is born. Pope Paul dies, replaced by John-Paul I who dies and is replaced by John-Paul II, the first Polish Pope. Egypt and Israel sign the Camp David Peace accords. JIm Jones and his followers commit mass suicide in Guyana.
In 1979, things got scary. The Shah of Iran was deposed, and Ayatollah Khomeini took power. The American Embassy was taken, and the Americans were held hostage. An accident at Three Mile Island nuclear power plant caused a core meltdown. Soviets invaded Afghanistan. The US mint introduced the Susan B Anthony dollar. And I got my driver's license.
In 1980, President Carter rescued Chrysler Corp, but couldn't rescue the hostages in Iran. The FBI targeted Congress with the ABSCAM sting. We boycotted the Moscow Olympics to protest the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Mt. St. Helens erupted. John Lennon was murdered. Due to the poor economy and the Iranian hostage crisis, Carter was replaced by Ronald Reagan as President.
In 1981 both hostage crises ended as the Iranian hostages came home, and I graduated from high school. Walter Cronkite retired. John Hinkley attempted to assassinate President Reagan. Space Shuttle Columbia launched for the first time. Mehmet Ali Agca attempts to kill the Pope. MTV debuts, showing all music videos 24 hours a day. PAC-Man is introduced, and quarters are gobbled up by the machine faster than phosphor dots on the screen. I go to Indiana for college.
In 1982, ATT is broken up, ending its monopoly on telephone service. The local Bells become independent. groundbreaking ceremonies are held for the Viet Nam War memorial. A computer was Time's Man of the Year. Larry Holmes defeated Gerry Cooney, and Ray Mancini defeated Duk Koo Kim, who died from injuries suffered during the fight. Late Night with David Letterman debuts, following The Tonight Show. The world comes to Knoxville for the 1982 World's Fair. I came back to Knoxville as well, enrolling at UT.
In 1983, I turned 20. The internet grew up as well, shifting to the IP protocol. DNS was invented. President Ronald Reagan makes his initial proposal to develop technology to intercept enemy missiles. The media dub this plan "Star Wars." Israel agrees to withdraw from Lebanon. The Marine Corps barracks in Beirut are destroyed by a suicide bomber. United States invades Grenada. I invade the work force, proudly manning the counter at a convenience store.
In 1984, Apple introduces the Macintosh. The Soviet Union boycotts the 1984 Summer Olympics. Ronald Reagan wins a second term. There is much debate about George Orwell. After being robbed at work, I decide to choose a different direction, and join the Navy.
In 1985, I go through Boot Camp and A school in Great Lakes, Illinois. In an irony suited to the military, I spend my first two years in the Navy landlocked in Illinois, Central FL, and upstate New York. The Titannic was found. The Greenpeace vessel, the Rainbow Warrior, was sunk by the French, who finally found an opponent they could handle. We Are the World is recorded by dozens of stars to raise money for ending famine.
In 1986, plans are begun for the Channel Tunnel, linking Britain and France. The Chernobyl nuclear facility in Russia catches on fire. Soviets at first deny there is any problem. Iran Contra hits the news. While I was transferring from Fl to NY, the Challenger blew up, killing all on board. In a parallel, I was run over by an 18 wheeler on an icy highway south of Philadelphia one day earlier. I was driving a 1970 Cadillac deVille convertable. The car took considerable damage, but despite the tire tracks across the hood, I drove away and completed the drive. They don't build 'em like that anymore.
In 1987, an Iragi Mirage (french built) fires two Exocet(also french built) missiles at the USS Stark. 37 sailors die. I was deployed in the Med on the USS Nimitz at the time. We learned about it over short wave, listening to the BBC. We were due to leave the mad that day, and expected to be delayed. We weren't. Gary Hart withdraws from the presidential race after failing to withdraw from Donna Rice. Jim Bakker steps down from the PTL club after admitting to sexual misconduct.
In 1988, Jimmy Swaggart follows Jim Bakker as another televangelist admits to sexual misconduct. The Soviet occupation of Afghanistan ends. The Space Shuttle resumes flying. I meet my future ex-wife, then deploy for 6 months to the Western Pacific. The Olympics are held in Seoul, and my battlegroup stands off the coast as a security force. Robert Heinlein dies.
In 1989, the GPS network is launched, with 24 satellites placed in orbit. Time and Warner merge. Protesting students are massacred in Tienanmen Square, in China. Solidarity wins in Poland, as communist governments begin to fail all over Eastern Europe. The Berlin Wall comes down. I get married, and begin life as a father with three children and a baby. Within a couple of months, we find out we're expecting another baby. George H.W. Bush defeats Walter Mondale. Pete Rose is banned for life from baseball for gambling. The Exxon Valdez runs aground
In 1990, Virginia elects the nation's first black governor. Yep, we're backwards here in the South. Apartheid ends in South Africa as Nelson Mandela is freed. The Soviet Union collapses. Iraq invades Kuwait on Aug 2. The UN instantly condemns the action, while President Bush begins working to build a coalition to throw back the invasion. East Germany is reunited with Germany, removing one of the last vestiges of the Cold War, and accelerating the collapse of the Soviet Union. My 5th child is born.
In 1991, it was transfer time again, as I moved from Washington State to Virginia to meet my new ship, the USS Shenandoah. The Gulf War begins while I'm in training. I leave class and say, "I'm going to go check if we are at war."
We were.
The Gulf War ends after 41 days of fighting, with Iraq removed from Kuwait, and promising to pay reparations, and disarm. Neither promise is kept. The next 12 years are filled with move and countermove as inspectors try to verify disarmament, and Iraqi officials try to deny them access. LA Police are videotaped beating Rodney King, stopped for reckless driving. The tape sparks massive outrage.
In 1992, I deploy to the Med for another 6 months. My son is born shortly before I return. Yugoslavia dissolves into chaos as ethnic groups fight for control of historical territories. The verdict in the trial of the officer's accused of using excessive force in the Rodney King arrest is returned. Riots break out in LA and elsewhere when the four policemen are found "Not Guilty." The riots lasted for several days and caused millions of dollars of damage. Rodney King asks if we could all "...just get along." Hurrican Andrew devastates Florida; Bill Clinton is elected President. The Blue Kays win the World Series, becoming the first non-American team to do so.
In 1993, I reach the end of my enlistment, and move my family (wife, six kids, three dogs) to Youngstown Ohio. A van parked in the World Trade Center explodes, killing 6, and injuring over a thousand. The bombing is linked to Saudi financier Osama bin Laden. BATF agents try to arrest David Koresh in his compound. The resulting gun battle kills 6 Branch Davidians and 4 agents, and began a 51 day seige, which ended when Janet Reno authorized an attack on the compound which killed 82 members of the cult, including all the children. reno accepts responsibility for the disaster. Intel launches the first Pentium chip, clocking a blistering 60 Mhz. President Clinton orders a cruise missile attack on Iraq, in retaliation for an attempted assassination of George Bush a month earlier. Iraq continues to resist inspections. Clinton sends the army into Somalia to help keep the peace. The mission goes bad, winding up in a fierce battle to extract US soldiers. 18 soldiers die, and some of their bodies are dragged through the streets. America withdraws.
1994 is a banner year for women. Nancy Kerrigan is attacked by the boyfriend of rival skater Tonya Harding. Lorena Bobbitt goes on trial for cutting off her husband's penis while he slept. (The severed member is found by police on the way to the hosptial and is re-attached. John Bobbitt goes on to a short porn career (Frankenpenis and John Wayne Bobbitt uncut)) Shannon Faulkner sues for the right to attend the all male Citadel and wins. She drops out within weeks. I move my family to Tennessee, then I leave for a year to Johnston Island, where I work on a plutonium cleanup project.
The English Chunnel opens after 7 years of construction. Nelson Mandela becomes President of South Africa. OJ Simpson's ex wife Nicole and a co-worker are found murdered. OJ leads the police on a slow speed chase throughout LA in a white Ford bronco driven by A.C. Cowlings. Simpson gives himself up at his home in Brentwood. Defended by a legal "Dream Team, he is found not guilty; no riots break out, although Leno and Letterman tell a few caustic jokes.
The investigation into the Whitewater real estate deal begins. The World Series is cancelled due to a strike.
In 1995, Timothy McVeigh sets off a truck bomb outside a federal building in Oklahoma City, OK. 168 people die. McVeigh is found guitly and sentenced to die. His accomplice, Terry Nichols is sentenced to life without parole. Iraq continues to resist disarmament and the inspection process as the UNSC begins to lose cohesiveness. France and Russia begin to sell prohibited items to Iraq.
In 1996, a computer, Deep Blue, beats Gary Kasparov for the first time. The Unabomber is arrested. The first mammal, a sheep named Dolly, is cloned. Bill Clinton wins re-election over Bob Dole, who becomes a pitchman for Viagra. Jon Benet Ramsey, a 6 year old beauty queen, is found murdered in her basement. The case is never solved. A bomb explodes at the Summer Olympics in Atlanta. The man who found the bomb, Richard Jewell, falls under suspician immediately. After months of investigation, he is cleared, although his life is destroyed.
In 1997, a criticality in a plant in Japan exposes three workers to fatal doses of radiation. One worker was kept alive for a few weeks through massive blood tranfusions and other radical therapies, but all three died in the end. 39 cultists commit suicide to rendezvous with an object they believe is trailing comet Hale Bopp. Hong Kong returns to Chinese control. Princess Diana dies when the car she is riding in goes out of control in an attempt to elude paparazzi. The first land vehicle breaks the sound barrier.
In 1998, John Glenn returns to space in what many see as a publicity stunt. The Lewinski scandal breaks big, forcing President Clinton to deny sexual relations on national TV. A double bombing at an Atlanta abortion clinic is traced to Eric Rudolph, who flees to the North Carolina mountains, where he hides for 5 years. Eric Rudolph also becomes the prime suspect in the Atlanta Olympics bombing. Mercedes buys Chrysler. Matthew Shepard is murdered for being gay, igniting a drive for gay civil rights legislation. More missile strikes on Iraq are ordered by President Clinton, who says that Iraq is failing to disarm, and is continuing to research and produce weapons of mass destruction. The UNiversity of Tennessee Volunteers go 13-0 and defeat the Florida State Seminoles to win the first BCS National Championship.
In 1999, there were major concerns about Y2k compliance. Doomsday scenarios abounded and paranoiacs all over the world prepared for the complete breakdown of social services. MIllenial festivities were planned to bwegin on New Year's Day, 2000, despite the persnickety folks who complained, correctly, that the new millenium didn't begin until 2001. Bill Clinton is acquitted in his impeachment trial on a party line vote. The DOW closes above 10000 for the first time. Two teenagers in Columbine CO take over the high school, killing 12 astudents and 1 teacher before turning the guns on themselves.
In 2000, y2k turns out to be harmless. Millenial madness is a flop. Charles Shultz stops drawing Peanuts. He dies shortly afterward. Janet reno is back in the news as she initiates a raid which removes Cuban refuge Elian Gonzales from his family in Miami to return him to Cuba. Nobody dies this time, proving that she does learn from experience. Ariel Sharon visits the Temple Mount on a holy day, which Arafat uses to launch the Intifadah. My wife and I separate. George Bush and Al Gore go to the wire in an election too close to call. eventually, the SCOTUS has to step in to end the legal manuevers of Al Gore, leading to his concession. The American public is bitterly divided over the legitimacy of the result. Survivor premieres, sparking a new "reality" television which quickly snks to apalling depths.
In 2001, the new millenium begins. George Bush is inaugurated while Al Gore returns to Tennessee to mend fences, eat heavily, and grow a beard. Dale Earnhardt dies during the last lap of the Daytona 500. A US Surveillance plane is rammed by a Chinese fighter, and forced to land in China. The crew is taken prisoner, and the plane confiscated. eventually, the crew was released, but the plane was returned only after the Chinese had thoroughly examined it. The World trade Center is attacked by 2 hijacked aircraft which fly directly into the towers. The towers collapse in a matter of hours, killing 3000 people. Another plane crashes into the Pentagon, while a fourth crashes into a field in Pennsylvnia after the passengers fight back to regain control of the aircraft. The US is stunned, but a new resolve grows under the leadership of President Bush, and New York Mayor Giuliani. The recovery efforts last months. America invades Afghanistan to chase down Osama bin Laden and the al Qaida network, the ones behind the WTC massacre
In 2002, US efforts in Afghanistan continue. The Taliban is out of power, the al Qaida compound at Tora Bora is destroyed, and OBL is missing and presumed dead. The Intifadah continmues in Israel, with Palestinians conducting suicide bombings, and Israel responding by taking out Hamas and Jihad Islami leaders. The US begins pressuring the UN to act against Iraq, seen as part of an "Axis of evil," which funds terrorism.
In 2003, Shuttle Columbia disintegrated on re=entry over California, Nevada and Texas. The cause appears to be damage to the ablative tiles, possible coused by impact with foam from the external fuel tank. despite heavy opposition from france, Germany, and Russia, the US and allies, chiefly Britain and Australia, invade Iraq to end the regime of Saddam Hussein. Hussein is not found, and despite fears to the contrary, the force plan works exceptionally well, minimizing casualties for allies and non combatants. The peace plan is not as successful, but is progressing.
A lot can happen in 40 years. (Anybody still reading?)
The labor was difficult, so difficult that my mom was told she couldn't have anymore kids except through c-section. I came out of the deal with a head shaped like a bananna. Fortunately, baby's heads are very pliable, and the nurses spent hours reshaping my head to something approaching normalcy.
The first few years of my life passed in a blur, as I tried to figure out what all these new things around me were. In 1964, while I was gumming rice cereal, Ford introduced the Mustang; the Beatles performed on Ed Sullivan; IBM introduced the System 360 computer family, boasting a whopping 48k of memory. The computer language BASIC was introduced, And Leonid Brezhnev replaced Nikita Krushchev as leader of the Soviet Union. 1965 brought turmoil as Malcolm X was assassinated by a group of his followers, American combat forces entered Viet Nam, race riots broke out all over the nation, and the Russians made the first space walk. Coincidentally, I took my first steps that year as well.
The changes kept coming in 1966. Star Trek premiered; Charles Whitman climbed a tower in Texas, and killed random people, NOW was founded, and Catholics were allowed to eat meat on Friday.
In 1967, Israel defeated a coalition of Arab countries in only 6 days. The first Super Bowl was played, won by the Packers, Thurgood Marshall was appointed to the Supreme Court. The first heart transplant took place. Apollo 1 caught fire on the pad, killing all on board. The first ATM was installed, and Elvis Presley got married.
In 1968, the world accelerated. Martin Luther King and Robert F kennedy were both assassinated, Laugh In ushered in lightning fast comedy. George Foreman won gold in the Olympics. In Viet Nam, the Tet offensive was launched. It was a military failure, but a political succews, breaking America's will to fight. The first 9-1-1 system was installed.
In 1969, Mary Jo Kopechne drowned in Chappaquidick while Ted Kennedy swam to safety. ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet was born, and in a coincidence presaging it's impact on publishing, the Saturday Evening Post published it's last issue. Charles Manson and his "Family" slaughtered several people in California. As I was taking my first steps into a larger world, going to first grade, mankind was taking its first steps into an even larger world, as Neil Armstrong walked on the moon.
In 1970, four students were killed at Kent State in Ohio during a war protest. Monday Night Football was broadcast for the first time. Apollo 13's mission to the moon faced disaster, but resulted in the triumphant return of all astronauts.
The first NYC Marathon was run, and the Hailey family ran its own marathon, moving from FLA to TN. I got to ride in the U-Haul with my dad. The trip was great except I kept slamming my thumb in the door of the truck.
In 1971, Billie Jean King became the first female athlete to earn more than 1 million dollars. Disney World in FLA opened. The Nasdaq opened. The Supreme court ruled that bussing to enforce desegregation was legal. The violence continued as the Weather Underground planeted a bomb in the men's room in the Capitol. Intel introduced the first microprocessor, the 4004 beginning the long evolution of the PC.
In 1972, HP introduced the first hand held calculator, costing a mere $395. It added, subtracted, nultiplied and divided. republican operatives broke into the Democratic headquarters in the Watergate Hotel. The Dow broke 1000. The Munich Massacre took place in the Olympic Village.
Watergate
In 1973, I turned 10, and thought Schoolhouse Rock was the coolest thing ever. Roe V Wade made abortions legal, but with many restrictions, most of which would be stricken later. Secretariat won the Triple Crown. America launched SkyLab, the first space station. Israel fought off another Arab invasion during the Yom Kippur War.
Steinbrenner buys the Yankees
In 1974, Patty hearst was kidnapped by the SLA. NIxon was impeached and resigned, making Gerald Ford President. People magazine published its first issue.
In 1975, the first PC was introduced, the Altair 8800. It had no display, no keyboard, and was programmed by manipulating switches in sequence. It sold in kit form, meaning you had to actually put it together. It sold faster than the inventors could manufacture the kits. The US and Soviet space programs linked up with an Apollo-Soyuz rendezvous in space. Saturday Night Live debuted with the Not ready for Prime Time Players. Several went on to become famous. Some died.
In 1976, America celebrated 200 years. I entered my teenage years. Steve Jobs and Steve Wosniak invented the Apple Computer, which changed personal computing forever. At the same time, Bill Gates was founding Microsoft, beginning a rivalry that continues today. The first super sonic passenger plane, the Concorde, began to fly. Israel rescued hostages held by terrorists at an airport in Entebbe. The prototype Space Shuttle was named Enterprise, in honor of Star trek, following a furious write in campaign from Trekkers and dreamers everywhere. The phrase, "200 years ago today..." entered pop culture, as the "Bicentennial Minute" played nightly during prime time on CBS. We saw pictures from the Martian surface, showing a blue sky. They were later corrected. Jimmy Carter replaced Gerald Ford as President
In 1977, the world was introduced to Luke Skywalker and compnay through the movie Star Wars. I rode my bike about 5 miles to get to a theater to watch the movie. Disco dominated pop radio, while metal surged just beneath.
In 1978, Roman Polanski fled the country after pleading guilty to sex with a 13 year old girl. Karl wallenda dies on camera attempting to walk a tightrope between two buildings. The evening news plays the footage over and over. The first test tube baby is born. Pope Paul dies, replaced by John-Paul I who dies and is replaced by John-Paul II, the first Polish Pope. Egypt and Israel sign the Camp David Peace accords. JIm Jones and his followers commit mass suicide in Guyana.
In 1979, things got scary. The Shah of Iran was deposed, and Ayatollah Khomeini took power. The American Embassy was taken, and the Americans were held hostage. An accident at Three Mile Island nuclear power plant caused a core meltdown. Soviets invaded Afghanistan. The US mint introduced the Susan B Anthony dollar. And I got my driver's license.
In 1980, President Carter rescued Chrysler Corp, but couldn't rescue the hostages in Iran. The FBI targeted Congress with the ABSCAM sting. We boycotted the Moscow Olympics to protest the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Mt. St. Helens erupted. John Lennon was murdered. Due to the poor economy and the Iranian hostage crisis, Carter was replaced by Ronald Reagan as President.
In 1981 both hostage crises ended as the Iranian hostages came home, and I graduated from high school. Walter Cronkite retired. John Hinkley attempted to assassinate President Reagan. Space Shuttle Columbia launched for the first time. Mehmet Ali Agca attempts to kill the Pope. MTV debuts, showing all music videos 24 hours a day. PAC-Man is introduced, and quarters are gobbled up by the machine faster than phosphor dots on the screen. I go to Indiana for college.
In 1982, ATT is broken up, ending its monopoly on telephone service. The local Bells become independent. groundbreaking ceremonies are held for the Viet Nam War memorial. A computer was Time's Man of the Year. Larry Holmes defeated Gerry Cooney, and Ray Mancini defeated Duk Koo Kim, who died from injuries suffered during the fight. Late Night with David Letterman debuts, following The Tonight Show. The world comes to Knoxville for the 1982 World's Fair. I came back to Knoxville as well, enrolling at UT.
In 1983, I turned 20. The internet grew up as well, shifting to the IP protocol. DNS was invented. President Ronald Reagan makes his initial proposal to develop technology to intercept enemy missiles. The media dub this plan "Star Wars." Israel agrees to withdraw from Lebanon. The Marine Corps barracks in Beirut are destroyed by a suicide bomber. United States invades Grenada. I invade the work force, proudly manning the counter at a convenience store.
In 1984, Apple introduces the Macintosh. The Soviet Union boycotts the 1984 Summer Olympics. Ronald Reagan wins a second term. There is much debate about George Orwell. After being robbed at work, I decide to choose a different direction, and join the Navy.
In 1985, I go through Boot Camp and A school in Great Lakes, Illinois. In an irony suited to the military, I spend my first two years in the Navy landlocked in Illinois, Central FL, and upstate New York. The Titannic was found. The Greenpeace vessel, the Rainbow Warrior, was sunk by the French, who finally found an opponent they could handle. We Are the World is recorded by dozens of stars to raise money for ending famine.
In 1986, plans are begun for the Channel Tunnel, linking Britain and France. The Chernobyl nuclear facility in Russia catches on fire. Soviets at first deny there is any problem. Iran Contra hits the news. While I was transferring from Fl to NY, the Challenger blew up, killing all on board. In a parallel, I was run over by an 18 wheeler on an icy highway south of Philadelphia one day earlier. I was driving a 1970 Cadillac deVille convertable. The car took considerable damage, but despite the tire tracks across the hood, I drove away and completed the drive. They don't build 'em like that anymore.
In 1987, an Iragi Mirage (french built) fires two Exocet(also french built) missiles at the USS Stark. 37 sailors die. I was deployed in the Med on the USS Nimitz at the time. We learned about it over short wave, listening to the BBC. We were due to leave the mad that day, and expected to be delayed. We weren't. Gary Hart withdraws from the presidential race after failing to withdraw from Donna Rice. Jim Bakker steps down from the PTL club after admitting to sexual misconduct.
In 1988, Jimmy Swaggart follows Jim Bakker as another televangelist admits to sexual misconduct. The Soviet occupation of Afghanistan ends. The Space Shuttle resumes flying. I meet my future ex-wife, then deploy for 6 months to the Western Pacific. The Olympics are held in Seoul, and my battlegroup stands off the coast as a security force. Robert Heinlein dies.
In 1989, the GPS network is launched, with 24 satellites placed in orbit. Time and Warner merge. Protesting students are massacred in Tienanmen Square, in China. Solidarity wins in Poland, as communist governments begin to fail all over Eastern Europe. The Berlin Wall comes down. I get married, and begin life as a father with three children and a baby. Within a couple of months, we find out we're expecting another baby. George H.W. Bush defeats Walter Mondale. Pete Rose is banned for life from baseball for gambling. The Exxon Valdez runs aground
In 1990, Virginia elects the nation's first black governor. Yep, we're backwards here in the South. Apartheid ends in South Africa as Nelson Mandela is freed. The Soviet Union collapses. Iraq invades Kuwait on Aug 2. The UN instantly condemns the action, while President Bush begins working to build a coalition to throw back the invasion. East Germany is reunited with Germany, removing one of the last vestiges of the Cold War, and accelerating the collapse of the Soviet Union. My 5th child is born.
In 1991, it was transfer time again, as I moved from Washington State to Virginia to meet my new ship, the USS Shenandoah. The Gulf War begins while I'm in training. I leave class and say, "I'm going to go check if we are at war."
We were.
The Gulf War ends after 41 days of fighting, with Iraq removed from Kuwait, and promising to pay reparations, and disarm. Neither promise is kept. The next 12 years are filled with move and countermove as inspectors try to verify disarmament, and Iraqi officials try to deny them access. LA Police are videotaped beating Rodney King, stopped for reckless driving. The tape sparks massive outrage.
In 1992, I deploy to the Med for another 6 months. My son is born shortly before I return. Yugoslavia dissolves into chaos as ethnic groups fight for control of historical territories. The verdict in the trial of the officer's accused of using excessive force in the Rodney King arrest is returned. Riots break out in LA and elsewhere when the four policemen are found "Not Guilty." The riots lasted for several days and caused millions of dollars of damage. Rodney King asks if we could all "...just get along." Hurrican Andrew devastates Florida; Bill Clinton is elected President. The Blue Kays win the World Series, becoming the first non-American team to do so.
In 1993, I reach the end of my enlistment, and move my family (wife, six kids, three dogs) to Youngstown Ohio. A van parked in the World Trade Center explodes, killing 6, and injuring over a thousand. The bombing is linked to Saudi financier Osama bin Laden. BATF agents try to arrest David Koresh in his compound. The resulting gun battle kills 6 Branch Davidians and 4 agents, and began a 51 day seige, which ended when Janet Reno authorized an attack on the compound which killed 82 members of the cult, including all the children. reno accepts responsibility for the disaster. Intel launches the first Pentium chip, clocking a blistering 60 Mhz. President Clinton orders a cruise missile attack on Iraq, in retaliation for an attempted assassination of George Bush a month earlier. Iraq continues to resist inspections. Clinton sends the army into Somalia to help keep the peace. The mission goes bad, winding up in a fierce battle to extract US soldiers. 18 soldiers die, and some of their bodies are dragged through the streets. America withdraws.
1994 is a banner year for women. Nancy Kerrigan is attacked by the boyfriend of rival skater Tonya Harding. Lorena Bobbitt goes on trial for cutting off her husband's penis while he slept. (The severed member is found by police on the way to the hosptial and is re-attached. John Bobbitt goes on to a short porn career (Frankenpenis and John Wayne Bobbitt uncut)) Shannon Faulkner sues for the right to attend the all male Citadel and wins. She drops out within weeks. I move my family to Tennessee, then I leave for a year to Johnston Island, where I work on a plutonium cleanup project.
The English Chunnel opens after 7 years of construction. Nelson Mandela becomes President of South Africa. OJ Simpson's ex wife Nicole and a co-worker are found murdered. OJ leads the police on a slow speed chase throughout LA in a white Ford bronco driven by A.C. Cowlings. Simpson gives himself up at his home in Brentwood. Defended by a legal "Dream Team, he is found not guilty; no riots break out, although Leno and Letterman tell a few caustic jokes.
The investigation into the Whitewater real estate deal begins. The World Series is cancelled due to a strike.
In 1995, Timothy McVeigh sets off a truck bomb outside a federal building in Oklahoma City, OK. 168 people die. McVeigh is found guitly and sentenced to die. His accomplice, Terry Nichols is sentenced to life without parole. Iraq continues to resist disarmament and the inspection process as the UNSC begins to lose cohesiveness. France and Russia begin to sell prohibited items to Iraq.
In 1996, a computer, Deep Blue, beats Gary Kasparov for the first time. The Unabomber is arrested. The first mammal, a sheep named Dolly, is cloned. Bill Clinton wins re-election over Bob Dole, who becomes a pitchman for Viagra. Jon Benet Ramsey, a 6 year old beauty queen, is found murdered in her basement. The case is never solved. A bomb explodes at the Summer Olympics in Atlanta. The man who found the bomb, Richard Jewell, falls under suspician immediately. After months of investigation, he is cleared, although his life is destroyed.
In 1997, a criticality in a plant in Japan exposes three workers to fatal doses of radiation. One worker was kept alive for a few weeks through massive blood tranfusions and other radical therapies, but all three died in the end. 39 cultists commit suicide to rendezvous with an object they believe is trailing comet Hale Bopp. Hong Kong returns to Chinese control. Princess Diana dies when the car she is riding in goes out of control in an attempt to elude paparazzi. The first land vehicle breaks the sound barrier.
In 1998, John Glenn returns to space in what many see as a publicity stunt. The Lewinski scandal breaks big, forcing President Clinton to deny sexual relations on national TV. A double bombing at an Atlanta abortion clinic is traced to Eric Rudolph, who flees to the North Carolina mountains, where he hides for 5 years. Eric Rudolph also becomes the prime suspect in the Atlanta Olympics bombing. Mercedes buys Chrysler. Matthew Shepard is murdered for being gay, igniting a drive for gay civil rights legislation. More missile strikes on Iraq are ordered by President Clinton, who says that Iraq is failing to disarm, and is continuing to research and produce weapons of mass destruction. The UNiversity of Tennessee Volunteers go 13-0 and defeat the Florida State Seminoles to win the first BCS National Championship.
In 1999, there were major concerns about Y2k compliance. Doomsday scenarios abounded and paranoiacs all over the world prepared for the complete breakdown of social services. MIllenial festivities were planned to bwegin on New Year's Day, 2000, despite the persnickety folks who complained, correctly, that the new millenium didn't begin until 2001. Bill Clinton is acquitted in his impeachment trial on a party line vote. The DOW closes above 10000 for the first time. Two teenagers in Columbine CO take over the high school, killing 12 astudents and 1 teacher before turning the guns on themselves.
In 2000, y2k turns out to be harmless. Millenial madness is a flop. Charles Shultz stops drawing Peanuts. He dies shortly afterward. Janet reno is back in the news as she initiates a raid which removes Cuban refuge Elian Gonzales from his family in Miami to return him to Cuba. Nobody dies this time, proving that she does learn from experience. Ariel Sharon visits the Temple Mount on a holy day, which Arafat uses to launch the Intifadah. My wife and I separate. George Bush and Al Gore go to the wire in an election too close to call. eventually, the SCOTUS has to step in to end the legal manuevers of Al Gore, leading to his concession. The American public is bitterly divided over the legitimacy of the result. Survivor premieres, sparking a new "reality" television which quickly snks to apalling depths.
In 2001, the new millenium begins. George Bush is inaugurated while Al Gore returns to Tennessee to mend fences, eat heavily, and grow a beard. Dale Earnhardt dies during the last lap of the Daytona 500. A US Surveillance plane is rammed by a Chinese fighter, and forced to land in China. The crew is taken prisoner, and the plane confiscated. eventually, the crew was released, but the plane was returned only after the Chinese had thoroughly examined it. The World trade Center is attacked by 2 hijacked aircraft which fly directly into the towers. The towers collapse in a matter of hours, killing 3000 people. Another plane crashes into the Pentagon, while a fourth crashes into a field in Pennsylvnia after the passengers fight back to regain control of the aircraft. The US is stunned, but a new resolve grows under the leadership of President Bush, and New York Mayor Giuliani. The recovery efforts last months. America invades Afghanistan to chase down Osama bin Laden and the al Qaida network, the ones behind the WTC massacre
In 2002, US efforts in Afghanistan continue. The Taliban is out of power, the al Qaida compound at Tora Bora is destroyed, and OBL is missing and presumed dead. The Intifadah continmues in Israel, with Palestinians conducting suicide bombings, and Israel responding by taking out Hamas and Jihad Islami leaders. The US begins pressuring the UN to act against Iraq, seen as part of an "Axis of evil," which funds terrorism.
In 2003, Shuttle Columbia disintegrated on re=entry over California, Nevada and Texas. The cause appears to be damage to the ablative tiles, possible coused by impact with foam from the external fuel tank. despite heavy opposition from france, Germany, and Russia, the US and allies, chiefly Britain and Australia, invade Iraq to end the regime of Saddam Hussein. Hussein is not found, and despite fears to the contrary, the force plan works exceptionally well, minimizing casualties for allies and non combatants. The peace plan is not as successful, but is progressing.
A lot can happen in 40 years. (Anybody still reading?)
Thursday, June 12, 2003
Hydrogen power
I've posted quite a few times about the realities of hydrogen power and fuel cells. To recap, while a fuel cell produces minimal pollution, hydrogen does not occur naturally and must be produced, which takes energy. Due to the 2nd law of thermodynamics, it takes more energy to produce the hydrogen than the fuel cell will yield. Essentially, the fuel cell will result in greater power usage for equivalent work, and we still have to come up with a way to generate the hydrogen. While there are a couple of promising biotech methods being studied right now, the most common approach involves electrolysis of water. Unfortunately, there is no cheap, easy, clean way to do this.
Now there's a new problem. According to this story (audio link)on NPR, free hydrogen could lead to depletion of the ozone layer.
If it's not one thing, it's another.
Here's an interesting question: If these problems are real (and I know they are. It's basic science and easy to verify), then why the push for hydrogen power?
The answer, as always, comes when we follow the money. Of all the alternative fuel sources, hydrogen is the one which is most similar to petroleum. Think about it: it's difficult to obtain, requires a significant technological investment to refine, requires special handling, requires frequent refueling, and requires a massive distribution network?
Hydrogen is a wonderful way to make the enviros happy, and ditch Arab oil while keeping the oil companies fat and happy.
Now there's a new problem. According to this story (audio link)on NPR, free hydrogen could lead to depletion of the ozone layer.
If it's not one thing, it's another.
Here's an interesting question: If these problems are real (and I know they are. It's basic science and easy to verify), then why the push for hydrogen power?
The answer, as always, comes when we follow the money. Of all the alternative fuel sources, hydrogen is the one which is most similar to petroleum. Think about it: it's difficult to obtain, requires a significant technological investment to refine, requires special handling, requires frequent refueling, and requires a massive distribution network?
Hydrogen is a wonderful way to make the enviros happy, and ditch Arab oil while keeping the oil companies fat and happy.
You have to watch this
Barry over at Rushlibaughtomy.com linked to this new ad from Honda. It is simply amazing. If you haven't seen it yet, go check it out.
No tricks involved, just lots of money, time and patience.
No tricks involved, just lots of money, time and patience.
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
This is garbage!
We heard a lot recently about how the Child Tax Credit was denied to poorer families by the cold hearted reps in Congress. Of course, we didn't hear the other side, that many of those poorer families paid little or no income taxes, meaning that the tax credit would, in their case, be a handout. We also didn't hear much about the fact that the initial proposal included just such a handout, but it was dropped by the Senate, in order to meet their arbitrary $350 billion dollar limit, imposed by moderate reps in a doomed attempt to win moderate dem support.
Now the Senate, urged along by the President is attempting to remedy that short sightedness by passing a new bill, authorizing the tax credit for poorer families. Everybody should be happy now, right?
Nope!
Tom delay and his buddies in the House have decided to play a little power politics with this bill:
Now don't get me wrong; I'm all in favor of making those cuts permanent, but not now, and not this way. Reps won a victory getting the package passed in the first place. By approving the original bill, the rep Senate insulated itself against charges of indifference to the poor. But now Delay is following in the footsteps of Newt Gingrich and getting greedy. His greed could cause a backlash against reps going into the election cycle. While Bush seems firmly in the lead in the race for the Presidency, the House and Senate are completely up for grabs. Any sign of Gingrichian arrogance could cost reps dearly.
Now the Senate, urged along by the President is attempting to remedy that short sightedness by passing a new bill, authorizing the tax credit for poorer families. Everybody should be happy now, right?
Nope!
Tom delay and his buddies in the House have decided to play a little power politics with this bill:
Majority Leader Tom DeLay said Tuesday the House will use the Senate's bill, which would send rebate checks of up to $400 per child to 6.5 million low-income families this summer, as a vehicle for language to make tax cuts President Bush signed last month less temporary.
"If they want the child tax credit, they ought to be able to have it in a package that actually creates jobs and helps the economy grow," said DeLay, R-Texas.
Now don't get me wrong; I'm all in favor of making those cuts permanent, but not now, and not this way. Reps won a victory getting the package passed in the first place. By approving the original bill, the rep Senate insulated itself against charges of indifference to the poor. But now Delay is following in the footsteps of Newt Gingrich and getting greedy. His greed could cause a backlash against reps going into the election cycle. While Bush seems firmly in the lead in the race for the Presidency, the House and Senate are completely up for grabs. Any sign of Gingrichian arrogance could cost reps dearly.
Monday, June 09, 2003
A Single Father’s Dilemma
Guys, we've gotta talk.
There comes a time in every man's life when he has to face one of the biggest tests of his masculinity:
Buying feminine hygiene products.
My buddy at work says I must be dying for attention (Duh! I'm a blogger!) to bring this up, but I must, because we all know that sooner or later, whether it be for sister, girlfriend, wife, or daughter, we'll end up skulking furtively through that aisle, and shamefacedly handing our selection to the girl at the checkout counter. My first trial came at the tender age of 16, when my sister begged me to go to the store to buy her some "thingies." Mom and Dad were out of town, I had a driver's license, and she was in desperate need, so there I stood in the mini-mart, trying to work up the nerve to make my purchase. It was worse than the first time I tried to buy a Playboy. (Interesting side story. I wasn't real sneaky back then, and bought the magazine at the corner gas station, the same place where I was trying to work up the nerve to buy the "thingies" as a matter of fact. My dad was great friends with all the clerks who worked there, so I'm sure he knew all about my illicit purchase within 5 minutes of my leaving the store.)
I wandered the aisles of that little store for 45 minutes, carefully examining the dates on the dog food cans, to make sure they were fresh. I checked out the wide variety of canned vegetables, perused the offerings in the drink cooler, looked at all the leaflets designed to separate tourons (tourist + moron = touron) from their money as efficiently as possible, examined the floor to insure that it had been adequately swept, mopped and polished, all the while steeling myself to take the plunge. Finally, I screwed up my courage, dashed down the aisle, grabbed a mint green package of "thingies" and headed for the checkout counter.
The lady behind the counter took pity on me as I stood there with my head tucked low, trying to hide my face, and didn't try to engage in small talk, just took my money, put the "thingies" in a brown paper bag, and handed me my change.
Of course today, as a single father with three daughters, humiliation has aged into quiet resignation. I think nothing of running into the grocery store, wheeling my cart down "The Aisle," and grabbing a bag of pads, or a smaller box of tampons. But while the embarrassment has faded, it's been replaced with confusion.
Back when I made my "thingie" run, there were pads. Period. (Pun unintentional) The only decision to make was brand and quantity. Today, it's a whole new ballgame. Pads have wings, flaps, ridges, velcro, elastic, adhesive patches, and "moisture pockets." They come in unscented or scented, with a variety of smells with names like "summer breeze," "citrus blend," and "country morning." That last frightens me, because I always associated country mornings with breakfast, and somehow the aroma of eggs bacon and coffee just doesn't seem to me to be an appropriate scent for a feminine hygiene product. Then there are the sizes: Plus, maxi, super maxi, super plus maxi, and petite super maxi plus; it never ends. What happened to good old "medium?"
And, lest we forget, there's the wonderful world of tampons, which also come in a variety of sizes, shapes, scents and applicators. I can't figure out when these things became fashion accesories, but it is clear they have.
And you can't count on the commercials for help either, even though it seems the airwaves are saturated with them. It's nothing to see feminine hygiene products advertised during a football game. Heck, I'm waiting for Tampax to sponsor a Winston Cup car. Imagine going to the winners circle:
Eeriely plausible, don't you think?
I ran into a different sort of advertising the last time I bought tampons. You know how when you check out, the litle machine prints up coupons based on what you buy? Well, all I bought was the tampons, but I got 2 coupons: one was for more tampons, and the other was for Hershey's Chocolate Kisses.
And they say marketing isn't a science...
Regular TV ads are bad enough, but have you ever watched daytime television? I've learned more than I care to know about the female anatomy, and the various troubles inherent in having the plumbing on the inside, instead of the outside. "Vaginal suppository" is a phrase that should not be heard on television, except maybe for late at night on the Jerry Springer show, and even then it should probably be bleeped.
I saw a commercial a little while back for a "Extra Strength" douche. Now, isn't that a scary thought?
Another problem with these douche commercials: the ladies are always pulling these bottles out of the kitchen cabinet, never the bathroom where they belong. First of all, I'm not going to get into a conversation with my buddy over jock itch, and even if I do, I'm not whipping a tube of Cruex out of the snack cabinet and waving it around like it's Cheez Whiz.
Ain't gonna happen.
But in these commercials, Sally and Jane are sitting in the kitchen talking about having that "fresh, clean feeling" whenever they want, and Sally always reaches up into the kitchen cabinet to grab a bottle of Summer's Eve. I knew something funny was going on, so I checked the label on a bottle one day while I was shopping for tampons (It takes a man very confident in his masculinity to say that with a straight face), and brothers, I found the answer.
We now know more about the Hidden Valley than we ever wanted to.
There comes a time in every man's life when he has to face one of the biggest tests of his masculinity:
Buying feminine hygiene products.
My buddy at work says I must be dying for attention (Duh! I'm a blogger!) to bring this up, but I must, because we all know that sooner or later, whether it be for sister, girlfriend, wife, or daughter, we'll end up skulking furtively through that aisle, and shamefacedly handing our selection to the girl at the checkout counter. My first trial came at the tender age of 16, when my sister begged me to go to the store to buy her some "thingies." Mom and Dad were out of town, I had a driver's license, and she was in desperate need, so there I stood in the mini-mart, trying to work up the nerve to make my purchase. It was worse than the first time I tried to buy a Playboy. (Interesting side story. I wasn't real sneaky back then, and bought the magazine at the corner gas station, the same place where I was trying to work up the nerve to buy the "thingies" as a matter of fact. My dad was great friends with all the clerks who worked there, so I'm sure he knew all about my illicit purchase within 5 minutes of my leaving the store.)
I wandered the aisles of that little store for 45 minutes, carefully examining the dates on the dog food cans, to make sure they were fresh. I checked out the wide variety of canned vegetables, perused the offerings in the drink cooler, looked at all the leaflets designed to separate tourons (tourist + moron = touron) from their money as efficiently as possible, examined the floor to insure that it had been adequately swept, mopped and polished, all the while steeling myself to take the plunge. Finally, I screwed up my courage, dashed down the aisle, grabbed a mint green package of "thingies" and headed for the checkout counter.
The lady behind the counter took pity on me as I stood there with my head tucked low, trying to hide my face, and didn't try to engage in small talk, just took my money, put the "thingies" in a brown paper bag, and handed me my change.
Of course today, as a single father with three daughters, humiliation has aged into quiet resignation. I think nothing of running into the grocery store, wheeling my cart down "The Aisle," and grabbing a bag of pads, or a smaller box of tampons. But while the embarrassment has faded, it's been replaced with confusion.
Back when I made my "thingie" run, there were pads. Period. (Pun unintentional) The only decision to make was brand and quantity. Today, it's a whole new ballgame. Pads have wings, flaps, ridges, velcro, elastic, adhesive patches, and "moisture pockets." They come in unscented or scented, with a variety of smells with names like "summer breeze," "citrus blend," and "country morning." That last frightens me, because I always associated country mornings with breakfast, and somehow the aroma of eggs bacon and coffee just doesn't seem to me to be an appropriate scent for a feminine hygiene product. Then there are the sizes: Plus, maxi, super maxi, super plus maxi, and petite super maxi plus; it never ends. What happened to good old "medium?"
And, lest we forget, there's the wonderful world of tampons, which also come in a variety of sizes, shapes, scents and applicators. I can't figure out when these things became fashion accesories, but it is clear they have.
And you can't count on the commercials for help either, even though it seems the airwaves are saturated with them. It's nothing to see feminine hygiene products advertised during a football game. Heck, I'm waiting for Tampax to sponsor a Winston Cup car. Imagine going to the winners circle:
ANN: I'm here in the Winners Circle with Jeff Gordon, winner of today's race. Jeff, how was it out there?
JG: Well, traffic was flowing pretty heavy out there today, and I got caught up in a couple of tight squeezes in turn 2, but the Tampax Super Maxi Tampon Chevy kept me in the clear. Once in position, we were able to keep the rest of the traffic bottled up behind us, and bring home the win.
Eeriely plausible, don't you think?
I ran into a different sort of advertising the last time I bought tampons. You know how when you check out, the litle machine prints up coupons based on what you buy? Well, all I bought was the tampons, but I got 2 coupons: one was for more tampons, and the other was for Hershey's Chocolate Kisses.
And they say marketing isn't a science...
Regular TV ads are bad enough, but have you ever watched daytime television? I've learned more than I care to know about the female anatomy, and the various troubles inherent in having the plumbing on the inside, instead of the outside. "Vaginal suppository" is a phrase that should not be heard on television, except maybe for late at night on the Jerry Springer show, and even then it should probably be bleeped.
I saw a commercial a little while back for a "Extra Strength" douche. Now, isn't that a scary thought?
Dow Chemical is proud to present "New and Improved Heavy Duty Douche. Now with scrubbing bubbles for that squeaky clean feeling!"
Another problem with these douche commercials: the ladies are always pulling these bottles out of the kitchen cabinet, never the bathroom where they belong. First of all, I'm not going to get into a conversation with my buddy over jock itch, and even if I do, I'm not whipping a tube of Cruex out of the snack cabinet and waving it around like it's Cheez Whiz.
Ain't gonna happen.
But in these commercials, Sally and Jane are sitting in the kitchen talking about having that "fresh, clean feeling" whenever they want, and Sally always reaches up into the kitchen cabinet to grab a bottle of Summer's Eve. I knew something funny was going on, so I checked the label on a bottle one day while I was shopping for tampons (It takes a man very confident in his masculinity to say that with a straight face), and brothers, I found the answer.
Add some olive oil and you've got salad dressing!
We now know more about the Hidden Valley than we ever wanted to.
Privacy? In your dreams!
Here's something I wasn't aware of, although I should have been, because I've used all the compnonent parts before.
Go to Google and type in your phone number, with area code using the format xxx-xxx-xxxx.
If your phone number is listed, up will pop your name, address, and two choices for maps to your location.
You can opt out by selecting the telephone icon next to your name. Scroll down and you'll find the opt out process.
Go to Google and type in your phone number, with area code using the format xxx-xxx-xxxx.
If your phone number is listed, up will pop your name, address, and two choices for maps to your location.
You can opt out by selecting the telephone icon next to your name. Scroll down and you'll find the opt out process.
Friday, June 06, 2003
Man vs nature
I was late for work this morning.
But I have a really good excuse. I was going down my driveway when I noticed something unusual in my way. It looked like a large, flat rock, and I was going to just go over it when it moved.
Now that can't be good.
I got out of the car and walked over to see what it was, and it was a turtle. Not just a turtle, but a large snapping turtle. It looked to be about 5 feet long nose to tail, 4 feet wide across the shell, probably weighed about 75 lbs, had a largish chunk ripped out of the top of its shell, and it wasn't in a very hospitable mood. It just sat there looking at my with that reptilian stare, reminiscent of my company commander in boot camp. I walked around it, looking for a good way to get it out of my way, and its eyes seemed to follow me around even though its head never moved, sort of like those spooky pictures in haunted houses; you know, the ones that are always looking at you no matter where you stand?
It was fairly cool this morning, and I know that reptiles are cold blooded (rather like boot camp company commanders) and tend to be sluggish in the early AM. I figured I could sneak up behind it, grab it by its shell, and haul it out of my way. But as I looked at its eyes, and more importantly that large sharp beak, I began to wonder just how sluggish that turtle really was. Maybe he was just playing possum, waiting for me to get close enough to latch onto my arm. ONe of my sons used to have a lizard, and that thing was as slow as Christmas, except when it was time to eat. He'd just sit there, motionless, until that grasshopper got just a little too close and BANG!
Dinner was served.
I kept looking at the turtle, and it kept looking at me, and I found myself thinking of Steve Irwin, Crocodile Stalker and Snake Annoyer par excellence. I know what he would have done. He'd dash back to the house to get Terri and a camera, then jump right on top of the turtle, yell "Crikey!" a few times, talk about how wonderful the snapper is, point out it's razor sharp beak and powerful jaws, tell it how beautiful it is, then drop it off into a nearby pond.
Now I'm not Steve Irwin, but I'm a man, the pinnacle of millions of years of evolution, the top of the food chain. Surely I could handle one measly reptile, right? Of course I could. I might not have jaws that could tear through a NYC phonebook, or teeth sharp enough to cut through leather, but I had a human brain, the finest thinking machine on the planet, more than enough to compensate for any physical weaknesses. I came up with a foolproof plan to take care of this monster.
I woke up my son and told him to go get it.
Isaac just had a class in herpatology, and a large part of his time was spent in an independant research project, catching and tagging snappers in western Massachusetts. Here was a chance for him to broaden his efforts. I was contributing to his education. See, I'm a good father!
He came down and checked out the snapper, grabbed it by its tail and moved it out of the way. The entire time, that turtle kept his eye on me, as if to say "You got lucky today, but I'll be back. He has to go back to school sometime...and then you're all mine."
One thing worries me though. I'm beginning to wonder about this school my son is attending. I don't think they know what they are doing. Isaac said that the turtle was 2 feet long, and might have weighed 12 pounds.
I know it was bigger than that. They must be teaching the metric system up there or some such.
But I have a really good excuse. I was going down my driveway when I noticed something unusual in my way. It looked like a large, flat rock, and I was going to just go over it when it moved.
Now that can't be good.
I got out of the car and walked over to see what it was, and it was a turtle. Not just a turtle, but a large snapping turtle. It looked to be about 5 feet long nose to tail, 4 feet wide across the shell, probably weighed about 75 lbs, had a largish chunk ripped out of the top of its shell, and it wasn't in a very hospitable mood. It just sat there looking at my with that reptilian stare, reminiscent of my company commander in boot camp. I walked around it, looking for a good way to get it out of my way, and its eyes seemed to follow me around even though its head never moved, sort of like those spooky pictures in haunted houses; you know, the ones that are always looking at you no matter where you stand?
It was fairly cool this morning, and I know that reptiles are cold blooded (rather like boot camp company commanders) and tend to be sluggish in the early AM. I figured I could sneak up behind it, grab it by its shell, and haul it out of my way. But as I looked at its eyes, and more importantly that large sharp beak, I began to wonder just how sluggish that turtle really was. Maybe he was just playing possum, waiting for me to get close enough to latch onto my arm. ONe of my sons used to have a lizard, and that thing was as slow as Christmas, except when it was time to eat. He'd just sit there, motionless, until that grasshopper got just a little too close and BANG!
Dinner was served.
I kept looking at the turtle, and it kept looking at me, and I found myself thinking of Steve Irwin, Crocodile Stalker and Snake Annoyer par excellence. I know what he would have done. He'd dash back to the house to get Terri and a camera, then jump right on top of the turtle, yell "Crikey!" a few times, talk about how wonderful the snapper is, point out it's razor sharp beak and powerful jaws, tell it how beautiful it is, then drop it off into a nearby pond.
Now I'm not Steve Irwin, but I'm a man, the pinnacle of millions of years of evolution, the top of the food chain. Surely I could handle one measly reptile, right? Of course I could. I might not have jaws that could tear through a NYC phonebook, or teeth sharp enough to cut through leather, but I had a human brain, the finest thinking machine on the planet, more than enough to compensate for any physical weaknesses. I came up with a foolproof plan to take care of this monster.
I woke up my son and told him to go get it.
Isaac just had a class in herpatology, and a large part of his time was spent in an independant research project, catching and tagging snappers in western Massachusetts. Here was a chance for him to broaden his efforts. I was contributing to his education. See, I'm a good father!
He came down and checked out the snapper, grabbed it by its tail and moved it out of the way. The entire time, that turtle kept his eye on me, as if to say "You got lucky today, but I'll be back. He has to go back to school sometime...and then you're all mine."
One thing worries me though. I'm beginning to wonder about this school my son is attending. I don't think they know what they are doing. Isaac said that the turtle was 2 feet long, and might have weighed 12 pounds.
I know it was bigger than that. They must be teaching the metric system up there or some such.
Important new information on SARS
Everybody needs to read this latest release from the WHO and CDC
Download file
courtesy of an e-mail from a reader
Download file
courtesy of an e-mail from a reader
Thursday, June 05, 2003
Raines is gone
and admits that race did play a role in the Blair saga.
Will this cure the rot at the heart of the NYT? We'll have to wait and see, but it certainly is a step in the right direction.
At a recent meeting with staff, Raines said: "You have a right to ask if I, as a white man from Alabama, with those convictions, gave him one chance too many. When I look into my heart for the truth of that, the answer is yes."
Will this cure the rot at the heart of the NYT? We'll have to wait and see, but it certainly is a step in the right direction.
A question of technique
Compare this:
To this:
Which version has the better hook?
Doing this tour through the RTB has shown me a weakness in my own writing. As I read through each website, I looked for an entry the grabbed me, that I could excerpt to give a reader a feel for the piece, but would compel them to follow the link to get more, a hook, in other words. There were some pages where the hook was easy to find, two or three senences that let me know what was coming, but made me want to read more. There were many others where there was no easy hook to grab onto, no easy way to distill the post while maintaining interest.
I've gone back and looked at a bunch of my stuff, and while the hook appears occasionally, far too often it isn't there
To this:
Doing this tour throught the RTB has shown me a weakness in my own writing; I'm not a hooker.
See, as I read through each website, I looked for an entry that would give a new reader a feel for the blog, and would compel them to follow the link to read more. Too often, that hook was missing, making it difficult to make a representative excerpt. (Unlike some professional journalists, I don't edit quotes to make them more interesting.)
I went back through some of my entries, and found a few hooks, but not enough. It's something I'll work on.
Which version has the better hook?
Volunteer Tailgate Party
OK folks, here we go for another whirlwind tour around the far flung Rocky Top Brigade, where the opinions fly fast and furious. We're pretty lucky here in the RTB, we have some of the most passionate writers in the blogosphere, covering the political and social spectrum. As Bubba noted, according to the News Sentinel, we have 6 of the top 200 blogs in existence right here in good old Rocky Top.
I am not one of them.
But here, without further ceremony, is some of the best from our best. By the way, I've done something different this time. I sent out a call for submissions, and those who sent them in are listed here first. Then I went out and grabbed something from everybody in the brigade. So for the first time, in one location, you can get the full RTB experience.
Maalox or Rolaids may be a good idea right now....
We start with a newer addition to the RTB, Barry Bozeman of Rushlibaughtomy.com, who shares a puzzling personal experience that happened on September 10, 2001.
Perhaps some of the RTB's more far flung members could look into this. I haven't been able to find anything on the web about it.
Next up is the original Barry, of Inn of the Last Home. He shares two posts. The first is on cynicism and how it affects our point of view:
Barry's second submission is his commentary on the existence of bigotry against conservatives and whether it is inherent in liberalism, or a symptom of man's natural cussedness:
Next up we have Deb, one of the Belles of the RTB, who shares a hair raising (poofing?) experience at the hands of her daughter:
Let's not tell deb what 'shagged' means in British slang...
Next is Rex Mundi of Damn Art Diary, always good for something completely different, who gives us a short review about a film based on the life of Ed Gein. Who is Ed Gein, you ask? I'll let Rex fill you in:
Sliding in just under the wire is Bill Hobbs from Hobbs Online AM, who gives us an in-depth examination of the Guardian and the Wolfowitz flap yeaterday:
And that does it for the submissions, although SayUncle and Guy Montag both challenged me to pick something from their sites. Everything else you read here will be my selections from each and every member of the Rocky Top Brigade.
First up is Peggy from A Moveable Beast. Her photography is interesting, creating abstract images using unusual framing of horses. Here she posts about an unusual website:
Next is Fletch from A Smoky Mountain Journal, who reminds us why it's great to live in East Tennessee:
Next we have the AlphaPatriot, who writes out of Memphis TN. In this post, he discusses the proposed Family Time Flexibility Act which has unions in an uproar.
Next is Bjorn of bjorn again and KnoxPatch.com, who blogs about who talks the talk, and who walks the walk:
Next we have the editor at blogwash, a freshly minted lawyer from Memphis just starting out in a Nashville law firm. He tells us what it's like being in a major law firm:
Next is Paul at the Bully Pulpit, who compares Clinton and Bush and their actions in Iraq (no links, read "Wag the Dog"):
Next up is Busy Mom, a nurse blogging from a Major Medical Center, who shares her thoughts while sitting in traffic:
Next is Jane Finch, who blogs from Canada but claims Tennessee roots. She writes about getting her driver's license updated:
A pictureless photo ID...what a concept!
Next up is manish, who blogs out of San Francisco (RTB is more a state of mind than a physical state), and writes about legalization of marijuana in Canada(which might explain the whole photoless photo ID thing):
Next on our tour of Rocky Top Blogdom is big daddy of davidson county, who like Barry, takes Bill Hobbes to task for his take on Al Gore (blogspot links are not working. Go here and search for "Chick-fil-a"):
Justin over at Elephant Rants shares some info he dug up on Howard Dean, the next democratic stealth candidate who would be President.
Fatass Politics has a long post with history on Saddam Hussein, and his hold over Iraq.
Frank Cagle's latest column discusses how the UT foundation operates in secret, bypassing Tennessee's Sunshine laws.
Isaac over at Growth Spurts teaches us about pond cows:
Guy Montag takes Bill Buckley to task for making an unwarranted assumption:
Instapundit shares an email from a reader on the ground in Iraq:
Troy from Jaded journal takes us along on a visit to the carp festival including a side trip to an old asylum:
JaNell shares a little thought on Scorpios, and their relationship to Geminis. As a Gemini myself, I might have to look into it. I was married to a Taurus for 11 years.
Marc at Lay Line has a long post on gun rights in England:
Kevin at Lean Left examines the effects of the Bush tax cut on the middle class:
Les Jones takes us along as he slays Blount County's dragon:
Katie Granju's latest essay is available here, and she reminds us that pregnant teens already have a tough road. We do't need to make it any tougher by stigmatizing them:
Mark Longmire continues to baffle and bemuse. Just follow the link. Excerpting isn't practical.
Next up is Mike Reed, the Man About Murfreesboro. I was going to post something from Mike's page until I found his son Max's page. I think you'll all agree who the real writer in this family is...check it out:
Next on our hit parade is Mind Warp, written by Butchmule, brother of Rex and Troy. He tells us about his troubles with vampires:
Danielle at Missives Anonymous shares the thoughts that pass through her mind throughout the day. Here's a brief sample (Blogspot links not working):
We're rounding third and headed for home now in our trip around the bases of the Rocky Top Brigade. Next stop is Newton's Kumquat, blogging from Nashville, who shares his recent trip to New England:
Donald Sensing of One Hand Clapping (A former Army artillary officer, now a Methodist minister who uses a zen koan for the title of his blog. Talk about wide ranging interests!) examines in detail the major obstacle facing the Middle East peace process:
Andrew, from Pathetic Earthlings talks about Sheldon Lee's objections to TNN's upcoming name change:
Mark from pineappletown provides a link in this post to a man who claims that Jesus was gay. Part of his case is based on Jesus's astrological chart, which is a neat trick since nobody knows what day Christ was born....
Brian Arner at Resonance has an entry which raises the disturbing possibility that Eric Rudolph had help Scroll down to "Too Close to Home" blogger. sigh.)while hiding in the North Carolina woods for years:
Say Uncle write s about tactics people use to grow their blog, a process he refers to as blogoticking:
SKBubba, rapidly rising to join the ranks of the heavyweight bloggers, posted about true liberalism
And following a precedent set by Bill Clinton, I'm declaring Mrs. Bubba to be co-blogger-in -chief, and posting her piece as well:
And now our final entry, Xyon's rambles, who catches us up on the events of the last few days:
Well, that wraps up this edition of the Volunteer Tailgate Party. I'm sure you found something that made you smile, made you think, made you mad, or even better, made you want to sit down and write back. That's what this is all about after all, having opinions, and putting them out there. Every blogger is looking for feedback; otherwise he'd keep his opinions to himself, so write a comment, send an e-mail, or join the party and start your own blog. Let SKB know about it and you too could wind up inducted into the RTB and be a part of the next Volunteer Tailgate Party.
I am not one of them.
But here, without further ceremony, is some of the best from our best. By the way, I've done something different this time. I sent out a call for submissions, and those who sent them in are listed here first. Then I went out and grabbed something from everybody in the brigade. So for the first time, in one location, you can get the full RTB experience.
Maalox or Rolaids may be a good idea right now....
We start with a newer addition to the RTB, Barry Bozeman of Rushlibaughtomy.com, who shares a puzzling personal experience that happened on September 10, 2001.
Two hours passed before I heard from him again. This was his story:
“The airplane was towed to a remote area of San Jose Airport and the passengers were debarked to busses.” He said, “ We were taken to a large hanger and each passenger was asked for identification.” Several of the male passengers were escorted from the room and the remainder of the passengers were bussed back to the main terminal. The baggage was returned and those passengers were told to return to the airport on 9-11 for a morning flight. Bill then said that he would call in the morning when he knew his new ETA.
Perhaps some of the RTB's more far flung members could look into this. I haven't been able to find anything on the web about it.
Next up is the original Barry, of Inn of the Last Home. He shares two posts. The first is on cynicism and how it affects our point of view:
Like so many other pundits, he believes any headline in which Gore or Clinton is mentioned or quoted is a blatant, calculated bid for political relevency. It doesn't really matter what the story says, as long as any former political adversary reemerges into the public eye, it must be solely politically motivated.
Barry's second submission is his commentary on the existence of bigotry against conservatives and whether it is inherent in liberalism, or a symptom of man's natural cussedness:
It's not a Democrat thing - it has nothing to do with the ideals of the "Left-Leaning intelligensia". It's not a Republican thing - it has nothing to do with the ideals of the "Knee-jerk right-wingers with low IQ's". It's a nasty stain of human nature that a lot of people - Republican, Democrat, black, white, male, female, gay, straight, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Pagan - have thankfully come to recognize. Unfortunately, there's not enough yet, and we haven't progressed quite enough as a society or as a species to look beyond political differences.
Next up we have Deb, one of the Belles of the RTB, who shares a hair raising (poofing?) experience at the hands of her daughter:
As she begins to snip here and there, she keeps telling Becca to watch how she's holding the scissors. How she's pulling the hair back and not toward my face. Then it's hands-on for Becca. Practice, practice, practice! Here a snip, there a snip, everywhere a snip snip. Ohhh....then she pulls out the "special" scissors. The $600 pair of scissors. The ones for "special" cuts. I have a lump in my throat. She warns Becca to be veddy veddy careful with them. They're S-H-A-R-P. I'm nauseous.
It's over. I'm shagged. Shagged like I've never been shagged before. Not only am I shaggy, I'm poofed. Evidently, that's Becca's speciality. Poofing. Heaven help me.
Let's not tell deb what 'shagged' means in British slang...
Next is Rex Mundi of Damn Art Diary, always good for something completely different, who gives us a short review about a film based on the life of Ed Gein. Who is Ed Gein, you ask? I'll let Rex fill you in:
Yet decades ago in Winsconsin, the real 'Leatherface' was busy with his hobbies. Gein began his experiments in home decor with stolen corpses, but eventually turned to murder. It will never be known just how many people Gein actually killed. When his crimes were discovered, the remains of nearly 20 people were found in his decaying farmhouse. They had become upholstery, lampshades, furniture, and even a 'woman' costume Gein liked to wear while dancing around the property.
Sliding in just under the wire is Bill Hobbs from Hobbs Online AM, who gives us an in-depth examination of the Guardian and the Wolfowitz flap yeaterday:
Contrary to the Guardian's spin, Wolfowitz wasn't talking about the motive for war with Iraq. He was talking about why the U.S. thought using economic pressure would work with respect to North Korea and not with regard to Iraq. Some say there's not much difference - that, in effect, Wolfowitz was admitting that we went to war against Iraq because of oil.
But that's an oversimplification. Sure, Iraq's oil made economic pressure less likely to work, perhaps making the war option more likely. That's not anywhere close to the same as saying we went to war to get Iraq's oil. Heck, lots of pro-war folks including me argued that oil WAS a reason for war, but in a different way than the anti-war crowd theorized. Oil made Saddam wealthy enough to A) build or buy WMDs and B) provide them to terrorists if he so chose.
And that does it for the submissions, although SayUncle and Guy Montag both challenged me to pick something from their sites. Everything else you read here will be my selections from each and every member of the Rocky Top Brigade.
First up is Peggy from A Moveable Beast. Her photography is interesting, creating abstract images using unusual framing of horses. Here she posts about an unusual website:
You can go here to play 20 Questions, and see if it guesses that you are thinking of "life" and "death." It gets a little mad at you, which is sort of cute, in a computer.
Next is Fletch from A Smoky Mountain Journal, who reminds us why it's great to live in East Tennessee:
Webcam shots like this provide for me a very brief suspension of thought and a slight taking of the breath, before reality sets in that I'm stuck in a skyscraper in downtown Atlanta and sullenness returns.
Next we have the AlphaPatriot, who writes out of Memphis TN. In this post, he discusses the proposed Family Time Flexibility Act which has unions in an uproar.
Let's work through this scenario. Say the worker makes $20/hr. Using UAW logic, the worker works four hours overtime and gets $120. Said worker takes four hours off next week, for which the worker gets nothing. Under the new guidelines, the worker works four hours overtime but doesn't get paid anything. The next week the worker gets six hours of comp time (time and a half, remember?) and gets paid regular pay, netting $120. Seems to me that the worker is ahead two hours with the family.
Next is Bjorn of bjorn again and KnoxPatch.com, who blogs about who talks the talk, and who walks the walk:
For all the left's celebration of Billary, it sure is funny when people actually acknowledge Bush does a better job of getting things done. Richard Gere was criticized for criticizing Billary for doing nothing to battle Aids ("I'm sorry, Sen. [Hillary] Clinton, but your husband did nothing about AIDS for eight years," Gere said.). And in this most recent incident, Bob Geldof and Lord Alli cautiously voiced their approval of Bush's handling of problems in Africa:
Next we have the editor at blogwash, a freshly minted lawyer from Memphis just starting out in a Nashville law firm. He tells us what it's like being in a major law firm:
Of course, at this early stage of my legal career, even the most mundane assignments are fresh and new and bring with them their own excitement, largely because it is the first time I have really felt like an attorney. The people are great. I haven't met anyone unwilling to take the time to speak with me or answer my frequent questions. It seems like a great place to work and hone the art of lawyering. I couldn't ask for more. And with all the free food we get, I'm gonna weigh 300 pounds by the time I have to get a crane to lift me back to Memphis.
Next is Paul at the Bully Pulpit, who compares Clinton and Bush and their actions in Iraq (no links, read "Wag the Dog"):
Former President Bill Clinton in the Q&A session of the University of Arkansas discussion (see link below) said that with regard to the recent Iraq war that he could not criticize the President for claiming WMD were in Iraq when they may not have been. Apparently he was also told by his intelligence agencies that there were WMD and that he couldn't simply dismiss the briefings based on his own gut reactions (paraphrasing).
Not to disagree with President Clinton but not only could you have gone with your gut reaction, you have a responsibility to use the brain god gave you.
Next up is Busy Mom, a nurse blogging from a Major Medical Center, who shares her thoughts while sitting in traffic:
Since the newspaper mysteriously quit coming, I have nothing to do in traffic anymore, so I watch the other people in the herd. Some of the more intresting people you see over and over on the interstate:
Salesman Guy drives an American sedan and has a tie hanging from the rearview mirror while he talks on his cell phone,
Skinny guy with a caterpillar mustache and tiny little girlfriend are always driving a Camaro from some outlying county, always going real fast. I guess they just "got out of bed" and she's late. He has a full day to put in with his buddies, some beer and a Nintendo.
College student driving a Jetta with a ski-rack on top going, er, coming home from a late night/morning out
Hard working, big haired young lady putting on her makeup in the rearview mirror, has to stop every so often to change the gears on the monster truck
Somewhere, someone's writing about me and my kind on the Interstate, don't wanna know how they classify me
Next is Jane Finch, who blogs from Canada but claims Tennessee roots. She writes about getting her driver's license updated:
So...I went to get my picture taken and renew my license. I now have three pieces of paper: this years license, next years license, and yet another pictureless piece of paper that says it's Official Photo ID.
A pictureless photo ID...what a concept!
Next up is manish, who blogs out of San Francisco (RTB is more a state of mind than a physical state), and writes about legalization of marijuana in Canada(which might explain the whole photoless photo ID thing):
It appears as though Canada won't be completely caving in to U.S. pressure on it's marijuana laws. The Chretien government has introduced legislation that will de-criminalize possession of marijuana under 15 grams. The government will also get tougher on growers and drug dealers and spend more money on education. Those caught with less than 15 grams of marijuana will have to pay a fine and won't get a criminal record. The government stressed that this is not legalization. Marijuana is still illegal to own, smoke, grow or sell. However, this is definitely a step towards more progressive laws.
Next on our tour of Rocky Top Blogdom is big daddy of davidson county, who like Barry, takes Bill Hobbes to task for his take on Al Gore (blogspot links are not working. Go here and search for "Chick-fil-a"):
I've gotten in my first blogosphere "tiff"...with none other than fellow Nashvillian Bill Hobbs. After nailing me for having "less traffic than a Chick fil-A on a Sunday," he again calls one of my favorite bloggers, Jeanne D'Arc an idiot for her post in which she lays the responsibilty of the looting of Iraqi nuclear sites on the Bush Administration. I think she's right, because it was the Bush Administration (starring Rummy, Wolfie, and Cheney), who invaded that country, and had the responsibility of protecting those sites...especially if they were so worried about Saddam's weapons of mass destruction, since that's why they went there in the first place. That's the point Jeanne is trying to make, and the one that Dear Mister Hobbs is ignoring.
Justin over at Elephant Rants shares some info he dug up on Howard Dean, the next democratic stealth candidate who would be President.
Hmm...I seem to have commented on someones blog about how a candidate will say just about anything to get elected...yet a couple of sycophants insisted that Dean ran one hell of a state as governor...yeah, whatever...
Here is even more on Deans wonderful "firm" record on the environment in Vermont...
Fatass Politics has a long post with history on Saddam Hussein, and his hold over Iraq.
While the media and the pundits spin various stories lamenting chaos in Iraq I've been watching a much more important story develop. I've been watching a nation of people that have been brutally repressed learn to be free. People that have never been able to express a political or religious opinion without fear of incarceration and torture now find that they can demonstrate in the streets. As the world watches a country shake off the chains of oppression the criticism directed at the means in which Iraq found itself to be free of a dictator is often unwarranted.
Frank Cagle's latest column discusses how the UT foundation operates in secret, bypassing Tennessee's Sunshine laws.
Responding to questions about secret financial transactions by the University of Tennessee Foundation, director Eli Fly told a Nashville television station, "Our board are honorable men."
In other words, just trust us to do the right thing.
Isaac over at Growth Spurts teaches us about pond cows:
If I said I caught a 27 pond cow this week, would you be able to guess what it is? No it isn't a whale, shark, or wooly mamoth (I knew I read you mind). When I refer to a pond cow, I am refering to the common snapping turtle. It was a tough capture and very dangerous.
Guy Montag takes Bill Buckley to task for making an unwarranted assumption:
Wow! I finally get to correct Mr. Buckley on something! Well, I take no pride in this (giddyness does not count as pride does it?), he is and will always be a much better writer than me and the correction is pretty trite, but here goes:
Instapundit shares an email from a reader on the ground in Iraq:
The mountains here are bare and devoid of trees. They used be forested. Covered with trees. There used to be so many trees in Irbil that you couldn't see around corners. Now it looks like Kansas or really more like parts of Montana.
The reason is that Saddam cut down all of the trees in Kurdistan in 1988. He bulldozed 4000 of the 5000 villages in Kurdistan and the Kurds ran to the mountains for safety, so he cut down all of the trees on these mountains and killed all of the game, so that the Kurds would have no wood for fires and no food to eat.
Troy from Jaded journal takes us along on a visit to the carp festival including a side trip to an old asylum:
The hospital is immense and imposing, many of the windows are broken behind their bars, and the interior is dark and depressing. At least it seemed that way peeking through the windows, for we could not get inside, although we did learn that public tours are available certain times of the year. We walked and talked, trying to imagine what life must have been like for the inmates/patients who lived there so many decades ago, and the conditions that must have had to endure in the previous century when mental illness was not understood.
JaNell shares a little thought on Scorpios, and their relationship to Geminis. As a Gemini myself, I might have to look into it. I was married to a Taurus for 11 years.
The only real reason for this entry is that I'm a Gemini, and like most Geminis I have a special love/hate relationship with Scorpios...
Since most of my friends are either Gemini, or Scorpio, and pretty much everyone including the Scorpios agree that Scorps are Evil, which they are, while many people who are not Geminis accuse us of being Evil, which we aren't, this seemed a good time to quote Scorpio friends on being a Scorpio for a totally meaningless but hopefully amusing post.
Marc at Lay Line has a long post on gun rights in England:
You’ve felt this haven’t you. You’ve said something to a friend about the toys he had, to your friends about what they wanted to do. You’ve said it to yourself (and I’m only talking about big things here) about what you wanted to buy, modify, carry, or do. None of it immoral but merely prohibited by the state. The state controls you and not in things that are right or wrong but in things that are prohibited (bad for the state) or allowed (good for the state). And by bad or good for the state I don’t mean bad or good for society, I mean bad or good for the state, bad or good for the state growing, bad or good for the state concentrating ever more power in itself
Kevin at Lean Left examines the effects of the Bush tax cut on the middle class:
Keep in mind, though, that the top end benefit greatly from living in America. Bush doesn't want them to pay for those privileges - but he doesn't mind making the middle class pick up the difference. Bush is reducing the requirement that citizens who earn their income form something other than labor - i.e. working at a job everyday - pay for the benefits they receive. Considering how much those people benefit from having a strong, stable country, that seems a lot like freeloading.
Les Jones takes us along as he slays Blount County's dragon:
The drive took us through Highway 129, including the infamous stretch known as the Dragon's Run, which I mentioned in the Townsend traveller's guide. In 11 miles the road convulses through 318 sick turns that attract driving enthusiasts, and especially sport bikes. We got to see some great motorcycle riding, and a stream of Honda SR2000s that were touring the mountains. If you're prone to carsickness, take Dramamine. One of our intrepid travellers puked at around turn number 210.
Katie Granju's latest essay is available here, and she reminds us that pregnant teens already have a tough road. We do't need to make it any tougher by stigmatizing them:
I, on the other hand, found it a nice way to honor the accomplishments of this high school's student-parents. As anyone who has attended school of any kind while a parent will tell you, parenting as a student is damned hard work. I know because I had my first baby while in college and my second baby while in grad school. Juggling baby, bills, and books was mind-numbingly difficult, even with significant family help. So I feel confident in suggesting that the young women who are mothers and students at that high school are pulling off something far more challenging—and certainly more important—than the girls on the cheerleading squad.
Mark Longmire continues to baffle and bemuse. Just follow the link. Excerpting isn't practical.
Next up is Mike Reed, the Man About Murfreesboro. I was going to post something from Mike's page until I found his son Max's page. I think you'll all agree who the real writer in this family is...check it out:
I get picked up a lot. When people pick me up, I like to pull off their glasses. I also like to pull on their necklaces and earrings. If I can get to it, I also like to grab big handfuls of chest hair.
Papa especially likes that.
Next on our hit parade is Mind Warp, written by Butchmule, brother of Rex and Troy. He tells us about his troubles with vampires:
I was at work today and killed at least 8 of them I found crawling on me from outside. I met Sugarbear at the bank to deposit a check and found another one on my arm.
Danielle at Missives Anonymous shares the thoughts that pass through her mind throughout the day. Here's a brief sample (Blogspot links not working):
Gerber...
I think that I have outgrown college food. It's weird. I tried to eat pasta from a box tonight, and it just didn't taste good anymore. I guess once you know how to make real fettuccini, the "fake stuff" doesn't cut it.
We're rounding third and headed for home now in our trip around the bases of the Rocky Top Brigade. Next stop is Newton's Kumquat, blogging from Nashville, who shares his recent trip to New England:
The next morning, I departed Maine and drove about 5.5 hours to get to Albany, where I met up with a bunch of my northern friends. Everyone had gone to Albany for the weekend for a party to celebrate Aaron's graduation from medical school. So I joined up with them just in time to play trivial pursuit, gorge on party leftovers, look at Italy slides, and stay up late playing cards and, err, taking care of the surplus alcohol problem.
Donald Sensing of One Hand Clapping (A former Army artillary officer, now a Methodist minister who uses a zen koan for the title of his blog. Talk about wide ranging interests!) examines in detail the major obstacle facing the Middle East peace process:
What Bush said this morning is that the US government will oppose anything that threatens the existence of Israel as a Jewish state. Ergo, what the Palestinians must accept is that their devotion to "the right of return" must be abandoned if there is ever to be peace.
Israelis believe with good reason that the right of return would be the death knell for the existence of Israel as a Jewish state and homeland.
Andrew, from Pathetic Earthlings talks about Sheldon Lee's objections to TNN's upcoming name change:
Spike Lee apparently believes that TNN's rebirth as "Spike TV" is a violation of his trademark and that, as he must maintain (if I recall my trademark law) -- that its use will, among other things, be likely confused and caused a dilution in the value in his own name.
Mark from pineappletown provides a link in this post to a man who claims that Jesus was gay. Part of his case is based on Jesus's astrological chart, which is a neat trick since nobody knows what day Christ was born....
JESUS was gay and so were at least three of his 12 disciples, according to a Melbourne academic.
Dr Rollan McCleary, a University of Queensland PhD graduate who now lives in Melbourne, will today be awarded his doctorate for a thesis on gay spirituality.
Dr McCleary said Jesus's astrological chart, clues in the scriptures to which the churches had been blind and accurate biblical translations had all played a part in his conclusions.
Brian Arner at Resonance has an entry which raises the disturbing possibility that Eric Rudolph had help Scroll down to "Too Close to Home" blogger. sigh.)while hiding in the North Carolina woods for years:
It's difficult to understand the logic of a Rudolph sympathizer. Even if you're able to put aside any moral qualms about his (alleged) abortion clinic bombings on the rationale that murder is justified to stop abortion, the fact remains that he (allegedly) left a fourty-pound pipe bomb in a crowd at Olympic Park in 1996. Shouldn't that be repugnant to almost everyone?
Say Uncle write s about tactics people use to grow their blog, a process he refers to as blogoticking:
We bloggers like our traffic. I do, which is strange because I don’t get much. At SayUncle, I’ve gotten just over 20K hits since August of 2002. 8K of those were in two days from an Instalanche. Of course, it’s mostly my own fault as I suck at blogoticking. I don’t pay for ads. I don’t troll (if I post a link in someone’s comments section it is because I feel it adds to the discussion). I’ve only emailed a few bloggers with links to my site and that was because I thought they’d be interested in what I sent them. Of course, a gratuitous link in response would be nice but I didn’t expect it.
SKBubba, rapidly rising to join the ranks of the heavyweight bloggers, posted about true liberalism
Today, I am ashamed to call myself a liberal.
You see, I sit here in safety and comfort, taking cheap shots at conservative Republican politicians and their mind numbingly stupid and insane policies. I go vote against them, I gripe about paying them taxes for sweetheart corporate deals and pork barrel spending, and I make an occasional campaign contribution to their opposition.
But I am fairly moderate on a lot of issues, and try to be a conciliatory nice guy who doesn't want to offend anyone. I ignore a lot of things said to and about me, and about liberals and progressive ideas and the Democratic Party in general, which I write off as misguided ideology, selfishness, or just plain ignorance.
I am the reason Democrats have lost the White House, Congress and the Supreme Court to a vicious mob of thugs and criminals.
And following a precedent set by Bill Clinton, I'm declaring Mrs. Bubba to be co-blogger-in -chief, and posting her piece as well:
I am a liberal and work in a very conservative industry. Luckily I love what I do for a living so I work hard and try to avoid political and religious confrontation (in the work place).
I have chosen to be a liberal although my choice does have to do with upbringing. I was raised to never say the n-word. I was raised to accept all religions (this was certainly a good thing being there was a very small minority of Catholics in a bastion of Baptists). I was raised to read and think so that I could better understand the world around me. I was raised to be a Democrat. Two of my brothers, raised the same way, have chosen to be conservatives, vote Republican. One of my brothers has chosen to be a religious fundamentalist, non-Catholic, even though we went to church every Sunday for the first 18 years of our lives.
And now our final entry, Xyon's rambles, who catches us up on the events of the last few days:
My Aunt Jeanne and Uncle Mike were in from Oregon and they were telling us about a "White Trash Party" that they were involved with in Portland. Instead of me rehashing the story, I will let you read her own words as they sent an email a couple of weeks ago. This from my Aunt Jeanne:
Hey Guys.
Well, we went to a party last night that will be in our dreams, or should I say our nightmares for a very long time. Our "White Trash Party". We're in this gourmet club and we decided to just do something a bit outrageous this time. We all dressed for the occasion and brought dishes that would be appropriate for the theme. I took garlic/cheese grits, a mess of greens, a pot of pinto beans, cornbread, and a soda cracker cake frosted with cool whip and topped with canned pineapple, marchino cherries and pecans. Others brought deep fried dill pickles, country fried steak and gravy, pork rinds, Velveeta cheese dip, mashed potatoes, vienna sausages, and Spam. The outfits were just amazing. Dad [Uncle Mike – Xyon] wore an Elvis wig, flip flops, orange parachute pants, a T-shirt with "Jesus Is My Homeboy" written on it with Tabasco stains down the front.
Well, that wraps up this edition of the Volunteer Tailgate Party. I'm sure you found something that made you smile, made you think, made you mad, or even better, made you want to sit down and write back. That's what this is all about after all, having opinions, and putting them out there. Every blogger is looking for feedback; otherwise he'd keep his opinions to himself, so write a comment, send an e-mail, or join the party and start your own blog. Let SKB know about it and you too could wind up inducted into the RTB and be a part of the next Volunteer Tailgate Party.
Wednesday, June 04, 2003
Global Warming
Whoever is hogging the greenhouse gasses, could you send some this way? 60 degrees in June is not my idea of summer weather, except when I lived in Bremerton, Wa.
The first summer I lived there, all the locals kept talking about the heat wave, and how they were dying it was so hot. Since it was only 75-80, I had no clue what they were griping about.
The next summer, things were back to normal, and I found out why they were complaining. That second summer lasted for 3 days in July when the sun peeked out, and the temps climbed to 77. After that, it was back to rain and low 70s.
The first summer I lived there, all the locals kept talking about the heat wave, and how they were dying it was so hot. Since it was only 75-80, I had no clue what they were griping about.
The next summer, things were back to normal, and I found out why they were complaining. That second summer lasted for 3 days in July when the sun peeked out, and the temps climbed to 77. After that, it was back to rain and low 70s.
Good economic news
Mortgage applications hit a record high last month, indicating that the lowered interest rates are having the desired effect.
The service sector of the economy grew faster than expected, a good indicator of consumer confidnece, and a sign the the recovery is strengthening.
The DOW closed above 9000 for the first time since last August, and the trends are all positive.
The service sector of the economy grew faster than expected, a good indicator of consumer confidnece, and a sign the the recovery is strengthening.
The DOW closed above 9000 for the first time since last August, and the trends are all positive.
About the story below
I'm a bit put off by Fox. Here we have a tremendously important story, a chance for a resolution to one of the thorniest diplomatic crises in modern history, and the FoxNews page leads with Martha Stewart! Are the libs right? Is Fox just a rag?
If so, they're in good company. USAToday is leading with Martha, as is CNN, ABC, CBS, and MSNBC.
I think the word I'm looking for is "Pathetic." Are we as Americans really more interested in whether Martha Stewart used insider info when she dumped Imclone stock than in the chance for peace in the Middle East?
I really hope not.
If so, they're in good company. USAToday is leading with Martha, as is CNN, ABC, CBS, and MSNBC.
I think the word I'm looking for is "Pathetic." Are we as Americans really more interested in whether Martha Stewart used insider info when she dumped Imclone stock than in the chance for peace in the Middle East?
I really hope not.
